Khóa luận English idioms, proverbs and sayings relating to relationship

Nội dung text: Khóa luận English idioms, proverbs and sayings relating to relationship

1. Bộ giáo dục và đào tạo Tr•ờng đại học dân lập hảI phòng o0o ISO 9001:2008 Khóa luận tốt nghiệp Ngành ngoại ngữ HảI phòng – 2009 1
2. Hai phong private university foreign languages Department o0o Graduation paper English idioms, proverbs and sayings relating to relationship. By : Nguyễn Thị Thu H•ờng Class : NA901 Supervisor : Hoàng Thị Bảy, M.A Hai phong - 2009 2
3. Bộ giáo dục và đào tạo Tr•ờng đại học dân lập hảI phòng Nhiệm vụ đề tài tốt nghiệp Sinh viên : Mã số : Lớp : Ngành : Tên đề tài : 3
4. Nhiệm vụ đề tài 1. Nội dung và các yêu cầu cần giải quyết trong nhiệm vụ đề tài tốt nghiệp ( Về lí luận, thực tiễn, các số liệu cần tính toán và các bản vẽ ). 2. Các số liệu cần thiết để thiết kế, tính toán. 3. Địa điểm thực tập tốt nghiệp. 4
5. Cán bộ h•ớng dẫn đề tài tốt nghiệp Ng•ời h•ớng dẫn thứ nhất : Họ và tên: Học hàm, học vị: Cơ quan công tác: Nội dung h•ớng dẫn: Ng•ời h•ớng dẫn thứ hai : Họ và tên: Học hàm, học vị: Cơ quan công tác: Nội dung h•ớng dẫn: Đề tài tốt nghiệp đ•ợc giao ngày tháng . năm 200 Yêu cầu phải hoàn thành xong tr•ớc ngày tháng năm 200 Đã nhận nhiệm vụ Đ.T.T.N Đã giao nhiệm vụ Đ.T.T.N Sinh viên Cán bộ h•ớng dẫn Đ.T.T.N Hải Phòng, ngày tháng .năm 200 Hiệu tr•ởng Gs.ts.ng•t trần Hữu Nghị 5
6. Phần nhận xét tóm tắt của cán bộ h•ớng dẫn 1. Tinh thần thái độ của sinh viên trong quá trình làm đề tài tốt nghiệp 2. Đánh giá chất l•ợng của Đ.T.T.N ( So với nội dung yêu cầu đã đề ra trong nhiệm vụ Đ.T.T.N trên các mặt lí luận, thực tiễn, tính toán giá trị sử dụng, chất l•ợng bản vẽ ) 3. Cho điểm của cán bộ h•ớng dẫn : ( Điểm ghi bằng số và chữ ) Hải Phòng, ngày . tháng năm 2009 Cán bộ h•ớng dẫn chính ( Họ tên và chữ kí ) 6
7. Nhận xét đánh giá của cán bộ chấm Phản biện đề tài tốt nghiệp 1. Đánh giá chất l•ợng đề tài tốt nghiệp về các mặt thu thập và phân tích số liệu ban đầu, cơ sở lí luận chọn ph•ơng án tối •u, cách tính toán chất l•ợng thuyết minh và bản vẽ, giá trị lí luận và thực tiễn của đề tài. 2. Cho điểm của cán bộ phản biện ( Điểm ghi bằng số và chữ ) Hải Phòng, ngày tháng .năm 2009 Ng•ời chấm phản biện 7
8. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS * * * In the completion of the graduation paper, I received so much help and advice from many people that my indebtedness to them is beyond words. First and foremost, I owe a tremendous debt of gratitude to my supervisor, Hoang Thi Bay, M.A , for her warmth and understanding which she graciously gave me, for her energy and time which she consumed to improve and polish my drafts, and for her criticism and encouragement, the lack of which would render this paper impossible. Then, I would like to thank other teachers of department of Foreign Language for their useful lessons and materials during 4 years which construct the background of the paper. Last but not least, I wish to express my heart - felt gratitude to my family and my friends, who always encouraged and supported me in the process of completing the paper. Hai phong, 2009 Nguyễn Thị Thu H•ờng 8
9. TABLE OF CONTENTS TABLE OF CONTENTS 1 PART I: INTRODUCTION 3 1. Rationale 3 2. Scope of the study 4 3. Aims of the study 4 4. Method of the study 5 5. Design of the study 5 PART II: DEVELOPMENT 7 CHAPTER I: GENERAL THEORetICAL BACKGROUND 7 I. Idioms versus proverbs 7 1. An overview of proverb 7 1.1. Definition of proverb 7 1.2. Some common features of proverb 10 2. An overview of idiom 10 2.1. Definition of idiom 10 2.2. Some common features of idiom 12 3. The distinction between idioms and proverbs 13 3.1. English idioms and proverbs 13 3.2. Vietnamese idioms and proverbs 14 4. Similarities and differences between English and Vietnamese idioms and proverbs 15 4.1. Similarities 15 4.2. Differences 17 9
10. CHAPTER II: ENGLISH AND VIETNAMESE IDIOMS, PROVERBS and sayings RELATING TO RELATIONSHIP 19 I. The importance of relationship in life 19 II. Subcategories of idioms and proverbs relating to relationship 22 1. Proverbs and idioms relating to friendship 22 1.1. Definition of friendship 22 1.2. Proverbs and idioms relating to true friendship 25 1.3. Proverbs and idioms relating to bad friendship 32 1.4. Advice for friendship 35 2. Proverbs and idioms relating to love 37 2.1. Definition of love 37 2.2. Proverbs and idioms relating to the challenges of love 39 2.3. Proverbs and idioms relating to the power of love 43 3. Proverbs and idioms relating to family 46 3.1. Proverbs and idioms relating to relationship between husband and wife 46 3.2. Proverbs and idioms relating to relationship between parents and children 49 CHAPTER III: SOME DIFFICULTIES FOR LEARNER OF ENGLISH WHEN STUDYING IDIOMS AND PROVERBS 52 I. Some difficulties in studying idioms and proverbs 52 II. Suggested solutions 52 PART III: CONCLUSIon 54 REFERENCE 55 10
11. PART I: INTRODUCTION 1. Rationale Nowadays, English is the most widely used in the world and plays an important role together with the development of society and technologies. English is not only the effective means of communication but also show its progressive effects in many aspects of life. Practically, study on the similarities and differences between the two languages and cultures English and Vietnamese has been one of my concerns when studying English at university. It is clear that there are many differences between the two languages of as those in grammar, lexicology, translation, phonetic and so on. However there still exists plenty of similarities and differences between English and Vietnamese that can be demonstrated through metaphorical meaning especially in literature, idioms and proverbs expression. This study of English idioms and proverbs has been traditionally associated with the study of literature, the use of idioms and proverbs is not restricted to this kind of language. A good understanding of how idioms and proverbs are used in everyday language is not only important for students of English to increase our vocabulary, but also to understand new and original idioms and proverbs when we hear or speak them. However, what I want to express here it that idioms and proverbs are the genius of national language that is the key to help learners know more about nation, as well as custom and culture of each country all over the world. Therefore, it is a must to me to study idioms and proverbs related to relationships that have made a deep expression on me for a long time because, I myself find it so interesting that the relationships not only reflect the concepts but also refer the characteristic of person and society. Most languages make use of idioms and proverbs but the way individual words used varies from one language to another and each languages has its own system and that they cannot always transfer the metaphorical use of a word from one language to another. 11
12. Importantly, idioms and proverbs help learners see the interest, the beauty as well as the culture color of language which help learners use and understand correctly and clearly. I hope that learners will understand about idioms and proverbs in English especially idioms and proverbs relating to relationship that is also the main reason motivating me to carry out this research. 2. Scope of the study During the study process, I have been attracted by - English idioms, proverbs and expression about relationship. Idioms and proverbs are a treasure of each country and all that I know about them is very little because of its immense number. Due to time allowance and limited knowledge, I cannot cover all idioms and proverbs on these issues but only focus on idioms and proverbs related to relationship, here is a sample of discussing on them : - The importance of relationships in life - Subcategories of idioms and proverbs relating to relationship, such as : friendship, love, and family. 3. Aims of the study Being aware of the fact that idioms and proverbs are extremely difficult topic and merely well- understood by foreign English learners and even if native speakers of English who take the idioms and proverbs for granted because when they use idioms and proverbs, they don’t know what they are using them, however, appreciate the idioms and proverbs associated to attitude and behavior of the speakers. So when they hear foreigners make grammatical or pronunciation mistakes, they are quite willing to accept and understand them. But if inappropriate idioms and proverbs are used then, they might not understand what that person means and that leads to a misunderstanding and boring conversation. Therefore, my research is aimed at : - Giving the knowledge of relationship idioms and proverbs. - Distinguishing different kinds of relationship idioms and proverbs. 12
13. - Raising the learner’s awareness of the existence of relationship idioms and proverbs and the effects using them on communication. - Helping the learners use right idioms and proverbs in right situation. - Comparing and contrasting the meaning and usage of some certain English idioms and proverbs about relationship with Vietnamese ones to find the similarities and differences, so that readers can understand more about culture, society, as well as people of these two countries. 4. Method of the study In order to learn English idioms and proverbs relating to relationship and Vietnamese equivalence better, with a hope that learners could see the role of idioms and proverbs in life, the following methods are used in the studying process: - First, having discussion with the supervisor, experts and friends - Besides, idioms were collected from dictionary to get valuable knowledge for this paper. - Furthermore, information related to the research paper from websites was also looked into in order to complete this research successfully. - Finally, I will analyze and compare these idioms and proverbs. 5. Design of the study This paper provides a clear organization consisting three main parts that help an easy exploration and practical benefits gained for readers as well. Part 1: Introduction Part 2: Development Chapter 1: Theoretical background of English and Vietnamese idioms and proverbs : some definitions of idioms and proverbs, how idioms versus proverbs, the differences and similarities between English and Vietnamese idioms and proverbs, the popularity of idioms and proverbs. 13
14. Chapter 2: Relationship idioms and proverbs in English and Vietnamese equivalences. In this chapter some certain idiom and proverb are analyzed according to subcategories of idioms and proverbs relating to relationship. Chapter 3: Some difficulties for learner of English when studying idioms and proverbs Part 3: Conclusion Conclusion which restates the knowledge mentioned through three chapters above. 14
15. PART II: DEVELOPMENT CHAPTER I: GENERAL THEORetICAL BACKGROUND I. Idioms versus proverbs Before researching to detail the use and the meaning of idioms and proverbs related to relationship, it is important to understand the history and the use of idioms and proverbs in daily life. Idioms and proverbs are considered as special units of each language. They reflect honestly and exactly history, experience, spiritual values, religious opinions and of people. So what is idiom, proverb? How can we distinguish between them? And what are differences between English and Vietnamese idioms and proverbs? 1. An overview of proverb 1.1. Definition of proverb Proverbs are used by speakers for a variety of purposes. Sometimes they are used as a way of saying something gently, in a veiled way (Obeng 1996). Other times, they are used to carry more weight in a discussion, a weak person is able to enlist the tradition of the ancestors to support his position. Proverbs can also be used to simply make a conversation/discussion more lively. In many parts of the world, the use of proverbs is a mark of being a good orator. The study of proverbs has application in a number of fields. Clearly, those who study folklore and literature are interested in them, but scholars from a variety of fields have found ways to profitably incorporate the study proverbs. For example, they have been used to study abstract reasoning of children, acculturation of immigrants, intelligence, the differing mental processes in mental illness, cultural themes, etc. Proverbs have also been incorporated into the strategies of social workers, teachers, preachers, and even politicians. "Where there’s a will, there’s a way." When you hear or read the words just cited, you will readily recognize that you have encountered a proverb. You should also find it quite easy to recall additional instances of this literary or, 15
16. perhaps better, protoliterary genre. Does this mean that you (or anybody else) can easily say what proverbs are? Hardly so, and numerous proverb scholars have in fact despaired of the task of defining the familiar subject matter of their expertise. In Archer Taylor's formulation of 1931, "the definition of a proverb is too difficult to repay the undertaking[ ]. An incommunicable quality tells us this sentence is proverbial and that is not" (The Proverb 3). In a well-informed encyclopaedia article of 1994, Peter Grzybek still concludes: "There is no generally accepted definition which covers all specifics of the proverbial genre" (Simple Forms 227). Recognizing the contested character of all expert definitions, Wolfgang Mieder performed the interesting experiment of asking fifty-five educated nonexperts to write their definition of a proverb on a piece of paper. The following "composite definition" is based on words that occur "from four to twenty times in the collected definitions": a proverb is "a phrase, saying, sentence, statement, or expression of the folk which contains above all wisdom, truth, morals, experience, lessons, and advice concerning life and which has been handed down from generation to generation" (Proverbs Are Never out of Season 24). Theoretically, there are a lot of different ways to define what is proverb. A proverb is a short saying or sentence that is generally known by many people. The saying usually contains words of wisdom, truth or morals that are based on common sense or practical experience. It is often a description of a basic rule of conduct that all people generally follow or should follow. Proverbs can be found in all languages. For instance : Every day is not Saturday ( Sông có khúc ng•ời có lúc ) Man proposes, God disposes 16
17. ( M•u sự tại nhân, hành sự tại thiên) Paul Hermadi and Francis Steen make it clearly by considering proverbs “ brief, memorable, and intuitively convincing formulations of socially sanctioned advice”. As most proverbs have their origin in oral tradition, they are generally worded in such a way as to be remembering easily and tend to charge little from generation to generation, so much so that sometimes their specific meaning is no longer relevant. For instance, the proverb “Penny wise, pound foolish” is a holdover from when the America was a British colony and used the pound as currency. Proverbs function as “Folk wisdom”, general advice about how to act and live. And because they are folk wisdom, they are often strongly reflected the cultural values and physical environment from which they arise. For example, island cultures such as Hawaii have proverbs about the sea; Eastern cultures have proverbs about elephants; and American proverbs, many collected and published by Benjamin Franklin, are about hard word bringing success. Proverbs are used to support arguments, to provide lessons and instruction, and to stress shared values. The concept of proverb is, however, a bit different in Vietnamese. Từ điển tiếng Việt defines proverb as “short statements, often expressed with rhythm, which sum up knowledge, life experience and moral lessons of people”. In “ Từ điển thành ngữ, tục ngữ Việt Nam” Nguyễn Lân states “ Tục ngữ là những câu nói hoàn chỉnh, có ý nghĩa trọn vẹn, nói lên hoặc một nhận xét về tâm lý, hoặc một lời phê phán, khen hay chê, hoặc một câu khuyên nhủ hoặc một kinh nghiệm về nhận thức tự nhiên hay xã hội”. For example: All lay loads on the willing horse 17
18. (Ng•ời khôn nhọc lo, đứa dại ăn no lại nằm) All men do not follow in the footsteps of their forbears (Cha mẹ sinh con trời sinh tính) According to Pham Van Binh, “A proverb is a complete sentence expressing an idea of comment, of experience, of morality, of justice or of criticism draw from the human life” . 1.2. Some common features of proverb Proverbs are passed down through time with little change in form. Proverbs are often used metaphorically and it is understanding their metaphorical nature that we can unravel their meaning. While “ a stitch in time saves nine”, “ don’t count your chickens before they’ve hatched”, “don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater” are common proverb, few of us stitch clothes, count the chickens, or throw out bathwater. Proverbs often make use of grammatical and theoretical devices that help to make them memorable, including alliteration, rhyme, parallel structure, repetition of key words or phrases, and strong imagery. 2. An overview of idiom 2.1. Definition of idiom It is important to recognize that idioms are not only colloquial expression as many people believe. Idioms as a special form of language that carry a large amount of cultural information, such as history, geography, religion, custom, thinking pattern and so on. They appear in formal style, in slang, in poetry, To research idiom, first of all, we must understand what is idiom. This is the old theme that we discuss it. Because to define the idiom exactly and popular accepted definition is a difficult question. In the definition of idioms, some 18
19. scholar emphasis on the words quantity of structure in idioms. That is to say, how many language units to constitute the idioms? Is it except the phrases, words group, and words or sentences also can make up to the idioms? Others emphasize the single meanings of idioms, it refers that the idiom’s meaning is arbitrary. The idiom’s meaning can not be synthesized or cut apart. Different people hold the different opinions on the definition of idioms; they have different focal point on the definition of idioms. So we must understand the definition of idioms exactly through the research. Although we are unlikely to give an ideal definition to the idioms; but we should give a better definition of idioms before the research. In Vietnamese Dictionary, they say about idiom as follow: “Thành ngữ là một tập hợp từ đã quen dùng mà nghĩa th•ờng không giải thích đ•ợc một cách đơn giản bằng nghĩa th•ờng của các từ tạo nên nó.” And according to the Oxford Learner’s Dictionary: “An idiom can be defined as a number of words which when taken together, have a different meaning from the individual meaning of each word”. And another definition of idiom: “Idioms are words, phrases, or expressions that cannot be taken literally. In other words, when used in everyday language, they have the meaning other than the basic one you would find in the dictionary. Every language has its own idioms. Learning them males understanding and using a language a lot easier and more fun!” And sometimes idiom is defined as “a phrase, construction, or expression that is understood in a given language. This expression ha a meaning that differs from typical syntactic patterns or that differs from literal meaning of its parts taken together”. In fact, this is what can make idioms all the more confusing. For example, the learner may know the words get and goat, and wonder why she 19
20. doesn’t understand the sentence “You get my goat” . In fact, she has little chance of guessing, out of context, that it means “You irritate me” Or other example: “break the leg” - literal meaning : someone’s leg is broken and he or she should go to the doctor afterwards to get it fixed. - Idiomatic meaning : do your best and do well. Often, actors tell each other to “break the leg” before they go out the stage to perform. The definitions of idioms are many in our society. In my opinion, the idioms consist of set phrases and short sentences, which are peculiar to the language in question and steeped in the national and regional culture and ideas, thus being colorful, forcible and thought-provoking. Strictly speaking, idioms are expressions that are not readily understandable from their literal meanings of individual constituents. In a broad sense, idioms may include colloquialisms, catchphrases, slang expressions, proverbs and so on. 2.2. Some common features of idiom There are many different definitions of idiom; however, we will find some similarities between them. An idiom is a multiword expression. Individual components of an idiom can often be inflected in the same way individual words in a phrase can be inflected. This inflection usually follows the same pattern of inflection as the idiom’s literal counterpart. Example: “Have a bee in one’s bonnet” He has bee in one’s bonnet. An idiom behaves as a single semantic unit 20
21. - It tends to have some measure of internal cohesion such that it can often be replaces by a literal counterpart that is made up of a single word. Example: kick the bucket = die - It resists interruption by other words whether they are semantically compatible or not. Example: pull one’ leg * pull hard on one’s leg * pull on one’s left leg - It resists reordering of its component parts. Example : let the cat out of the * the cat got left out of the bag An idiom has a non-productive syntactic structure. Only single particular lexemes can collocate in an idiomatic construction. Substituting other words from the same generic lexical relation set will destroy the idiomatic meaning of the expression. Example: eat one’s words * eat one’s sentence It is syntactic anomalous. It has unusual grammatical structure. Example: by and large 3. The distinction between idioms and proverbs 3.1. English idioms and proverbs 21
22. If you say: "The cat is out of the bag" instead of "The secret is given away," you're using an idiom. But "An apple a day keeps the doctor away" is a proverb. Proverbs are old but familiar sayings that usually give advice unlike idioms. Friedrich Seiler (1939) presented an important definition for proverb. He defined proverb as follows: "The prominent, articulated, advisory, and free speeches that are current in people's language." The proverb is a complete sentence with a firm structure that is based on an unchangeable foundation, like “where there's a will there's a way”, or “one who seeks will find”. Proverbs represent a complete piece of information because they can occur as a sentence. They are meaningful by themselves. In contrast, idioms are not syntactically independent because they can not always occur as full sentences, but as a part of a sentence. As it was said, the difference between proverb and idiom pertains to their form, structure, and function. Contrary to the proverbs, idioms are the general and current phrases that must be substituted in sentences so as to obtain a complete sense. These phrases can change according to time adverb, subject, and object. Explanation of an idiom is possible in the sentence with some additions. In other words the meaning of sentence is not perceived from its component words. The idioms carry the substance of speech. They must be used in a complete idiom. 3.2. Vietnamese idioms and proverbs From Pham Van Binh’s point of view, proverbs are section of folklore, that is, they are a “Complete work of literature” . Therefore, proverbs have all the fundamental functions of literature such as the apprehension, aesthetic, and education and so on. On the contrary, idioms are only section of language and an idiom alone cannot express an idea completely, so it equals to word only. Hence, they do not have functions as proverbs do and are often used to replace words so that the expression effect of the sentient can be strengthened. 22
23. Nguyen Dinh Hung, another Vietnamese scholar, has approached a more detailed distinction between them through the following table: Distinctive features Idiom Proverb Grammatical structure A fixed phrase equivalent Complete sentene to a word Literal function The aesthetic only The apprehension The aesthetic The education Logical though form Expressing concept and Expressing judgment, generalizing individual affirming attributive phenomena. phenomena. Function of language Noun denotation function Information function forms through words under consciousness Language attribute Social, cultural and phenomena spiritual consciousness phenomena of humans 4. Similarities and differences between English and Vietnamese idioms and proverbs 4.1. Similarities English- Vietnamese bilingual history is long, including a large number, of idioms and proverbs; however, we can see some common features of both two countries idioms and proverbs. The first commonality is that both idioms and proverbs are implicit, humorous, 23
24. serious, refined and particular. They are not only compendious, but also vivid. They can give somebody a kind of beautiful enjoyment. Because of geography, history, religious belief, living custom, etc the difference of the English - Vietnamese idioms is not bearing the weight of the people’s national culture characteristic and culture information. They are linked to cultural tradition closely so they are inalienable. Secondly, we also find that many English and Vietnamese idioms and proverbs have the same meaning, awareness as well as method presenting although they still remain national specific characteristics. Because of people being in the emotion, there is similarity in respect of going through in the impression of objective things and the society etc These literal meaning of idioms and proverbs in the English- Vietnamese ones and the image meaning are the same or approximate. It is the same to imply the meaning, that is to say, the cultural information that the literal meaning of this kind of idiom and image meaning express is the same, can translate each other. For example: - Xa mặt cách lòng. (Out of sight, out of mind) Two idiom literal meanings and image meaning approximate, difference slightly, imply meaning to be the same, the image meaning is mutually translated. Thirdly, an English and Vietnamese proverb can consist of an idiom. For example, Vietnamese idiom “ Chồng yêu, xỏ chân lỗ mũi” consists of idiom “ xỏ chân lỗ mũi” , or idiom “ Bình chân nh• vại” in proverb “ Cháy nhà hàng xóm, bình chân nh• vại”. We also see the same phenomenon in English proverb. The English Proverb “ Don’t put all your eggs in one basket”, for instance, has idiom “ put all one’s egg in one basket”, or the proverb “ Birds of a feather” includes idiom “ birds of the feather”. 24
25. Another similarity is that both Vietnamese and English people can break structure of given proverb or slightly change it to express effectively their purpose in communication. For example: Vietnamese has changed proverbs “Ăn nên đọi, nói lên lời” and “ Cái khó ló cái khôn” into “ Ăn không nên đọi, nói không lên lời” and “ Cái khó ló cái khôn”. It is the same in English, people break the structure of proverb “ Man proposes, God disposes” in the way of replacing the noun-pair “ Man- God” by another one “ the writer- the reader” , so it turns into “ The writer proposes, the reader disposes”. This change creates a new proverb which is suitable for their mentioned topics. Or replacing the verb “ do” in “ Never put off until tomorrow what we can do today” by verb “ eat” or “buy” to make their words more humorous and effective. 4.2. Differences It is the differences in the condition and society that create particular character and culture of each nation; therefore, English and Vietnamese proverbs are quiet difference from each other. Firstly, proverbs on life experience, weather, and nature occupying a considerable part in the store of Vietnamese proverb present clearly particularity of agricultural inhabitants who connect closely to wet rice cultivation. For example : Tốt giống, tốt má, tốt mạ, tốt lúa. Muốn giàu nuôi trâu cái, muốn lụi bại nuôi bồ câu. Đầu năm s•ơng muối, cuối năm gió nồm. It is difficult to find English equivalent proverbs because English proverbs mostly reflect rather social relationship than natural one and work experience. Secondly, anti-feudalism and class struggle spirits is expressed clearly and drastically in Vietnamese proverbs through subtle, profound, bitter and daring 25
26. words and images in order to denounce evils o upper class as well as reflect conflict between farmer and despotic landowner and corrupt mandarins. For example: - Quan thấy kiện nh• kiến thấy mỡ. - Muốn nói gian làm quan mà nói. - Hay làm thì đói, hay nói thì no. - Ngồi mát ăn bát vàng. On the contrary, anti-feudalism and class struggle spirits in English proverbs are quiet slightly and not drastic. We find only a few proverbs relating to King, unfair laws such as : - A cat may look at a King ( Chú mèo nhỏ dám ngó mặt vua) - One law for the rich and another for the poor ( Luật tr•ớc cho ng•ời giàu, luật sau cho kẻ khó ) Thirdly, there are some differences in using metaphor in proverbs and idioms between two nations. In English and Vietnamese idioms and proverbs, many different symbols are used to present the same idea, awareness, and criticism. For example; the Vietnamese proverb “Hàng săng chết bó chiếu” is equivalent with English proverb “ the cobbler’s wife is the worst shod” in which symbol of the cobbler’s wife who is the one wearing the worst shoes. Or another Vietnamese proverb “ Ng•u tầm ng•u, mã tầm mã” has a counterpart “ Birds of a feather flock together” in which English people use symbol is that birds having the same hair flock together. 26
27. CHAPTER II: ENGLISH AND VIETNAMESE IDIOMS AND PROVERBS RELATING TO RELATIONSHIP People like to use proverbs and idioms to dispense wisdom and transmit moral values. Relationship may become the literal subject of a proverb or idiom, or the vehicle for transmitting a metaphorical message. Idioms and proverbs relating to relationship can be divided into some subcategories and here are just a few examples with this theme. I. The importance of relationship in life . What is the importance of relationships in your life? What do you know about relationships? You hear the word “relationships” a lot these days. It seems that many people are writing about relationships and the different things the word seems to imply: roles, sexuality, love, life styles, sex, commitments, intimacy. All human beings crave for and certainly need social contacts. Relationships are very important to humans, whatever age, whatever nationality, whichever sex. Without relationships, life is empty boring and lonely. With, relationships, lives are fun, fulfilling and sometimes stressful. Relationships are rewarding but a struggle too, hence giving many headaches to a person. As the popular saying says "nobody is an island" Relationships are needed for us to exist as part of being created being. To show who we are. Is not it, in order for us to know who we are We Need a Mirror? Relationships are Mirrors to ourselves to get to know who we are. It allows someone to feel that they are loved and that they have a purpose in life. The importance in a relationship is having your partner in life to be your rock. To be the one person you can count on 100% of the time. Life is one tough thing to get through. You need that all on your side to be the one to pick you up, to get you through, to be the reason you wake up and try everyday as hard as you can. Because they need you and you need them. 27
28. Many people are interested in these subjects, in fact. Recently a bookstore manager wondered what topics took up the most on shelf, space in his store. So he measured the shelf space devoted to each one, and found that the subject of human growth and relationships "Won" by twenty feet. Translated into human terms, that measure tells us that large numbers of people are asking questions about relationships - how they should live with other persons in their lives, growing to maturity, for many people, means discovering new questions about themselves and their relationships. * Different layers of relationships Have you noticed this in your own life? As you have changed in the past few years, have you noticed that your relationships have changed as well. Relationships however, change and develop over time. For example, relationships with parents change, moving towards more equality as we grow and become more independent. We start to develop interests outside the family and build closer relationship with our peers. Relationships are a vital part of our lives at any age. As children we related to other people in loving ways. We had close friendships. Perhaps we had older brothers and sisters we admired. We loved our parents without question. We could be affectionate, open, generous, loyal to others. As children, it seemed easy and natural to love the important people in our lives, our primary relationships. In turn, their love for us seemed easy, uncomplicated. We often took these relationships for granted. But in high school, relationships began to take on a new meaning. As we approached physical and mental maturity, it became important to put relationships on a more mature basis. With sexual maturity, it was even more important to relate to others in ways that made sense of being male or female in these more mature relationships. Growth and change meant discovering new questions about ourselves and our lives, such as: What does it mean to be an adult? a man? a woman? How should men and women relate to each other? What is a good friendship and good relationships? Where does sex belong in a 28
29. relationship? Can someone remain single and still be a sexual person? When should I marry? Should I marry at all? What do I want out of life? What part do my relationships play in my life? No one person can answer all these questions on relationships, but whatever we think, our thoughts and attitudes are based on certain beliefs about ourselves and our lives: 1) We need other people in our lives in relationships that are close and lasting. 2) We can learn things about ourselves, about friendships, and about the world today, which help us find happiness in the relationships we form with others. 3) We can discover tools or skills for living, which help us make our relationships stronger and more lasting. But none of these statements makes sense unless we understand the part other persons play in our lives, especially in our relationships. And nowhere can we find more convincing answers than in our own in our own lives and from persons with whom we have had relationships. * Diversity and nurture of relationships Relationships vary between different people and different groups. Those who are in positions of authority expect us to obey them, and we expect them to know what they are talking about, so typically we do as they say. Friends expect us to offer support, encouragement and fun, which is what we expect from them. And we need to develop skills if we are to maintain happy, healthy and rewarding relationships. The pace of life today is such that often relationships are given a low priority in our list of things to be attended to. It is important is that your relationships are built on strong ground, since become for you a strong social support and will play an important role in helping you lead a healthy stress-free life. Relationship 29
30. is a human being’s feeling or sense of emotional bonding with another. Our relationships are also a fundamental source of learning. The quality of the relationship deeply influences the hopefulness required to remain curious and open to new experiences, and the capacity to see connections and discover meanings. We feel “related” when we feel at one with another (person or object) in some heartfelt way. Communication within relationships is also an important factor. If we can’t communicate well, the relationship will suffer. We can discuss issues, raise conflicts (assertively, not aggressively), negotiate and can also make decisions. Thus, we have seen how relationship is a medium through which they allow us to flourish. It involves an emotional connection with each other and can animate us. Hence, it is important to take a good deep look at the relationships in your life and pay a little more attention to nurturing after, which you will feel a lot better if you did so and the relationship can only grow stronger for the effort you put into it. II. Subcategories of idioms and proverbs relating to relationship 1. proverbs and idioms relating to friendship 1.1. Definition of friendship Friendship is one of the most divine relationships of all. It carries the essence of all other relations. A friend can be caring like a mother, strict like a father, possessive like a brother, affectionate like a sister and shower loads of love like a lover. There are no expectations in friendship and neither are there any limits. Friendship is no less than a spiritual bond between two individuals. 30
31. I really like the famous saying of Aristotle: “what is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies”. Perhaps the one relation that has survived the trials and tribulations of time and has still remained unconditional is friendship. A unique blend of affection, loyalty, love, respect, trust and loads of fun is perhaps what describes the true meaning of friendship between two individuals. Similar interests, mutual respect and strong attachment with each other are what friends share between each other. These are just the general traits of a friendship. To experience what is friendship, one must have true friends, who are indeed rare treasure. Different people have different definitions of friendship. For some, it is the trust in an individual that he / she won't hurt you. For others, it is unconditional love. There are some who feel that friendship is companionship. People form definitions based on the kind of experiences they have had. This is one relation that has been nurtured since times immemorial. There are famous stories about friends in mythologies of different religions all over the world. They say a person who has found a faithful friend has found a priceless treasure. In my point of view and experience, friendship is happiness Friendship is happiness, and a friend is the channel through whom great emotional, spiritual, and sometimes even physical blessings flow. Friends will cheer us when we’re sorrowful or depressed. Friends will challenge us to attain our original limits with encouragement when we allow ourselves not to go beyond our reasonable boundaries. Friends will motivate us when we’re ready to give in, and they can provide for us when life falls apart. Friends are there when all is well, and we want someone with whom to share life’s pleasant and memorable moments. We often just want them around, to have a good time, to laugh, to act silly, to enjoy some mutually liked activity. In how many ways have friends enriched our lives and made us feel loved, accepted, respected and cared for? Probably, too many to list, and the list grows daily. When you act silly with friends around they also come and join you and get the enjoyment that you are getting. In the dictionary of friendship there is no word 31
32. named sorrow. Friends will enter into that word and friends break the word into pieces. They motivate us to attain our goal. They will stand by our side when we need a support. You will tell about a girl/guy whom you love and will ask for help for the love. You can't tell the same to parents or any other before the love starts. In our life deciding factor also there is a friend and his/her friendship is helping you. When you get problem in that love all others will run from you but not your bet friend. They help us by challenging (a challenge which motivates us) and also motivates us for reaching our aim. When you are in college or studies you ask doubts in the subjects not to the professor but to a friend. Friends never say no to anything. They will try to help us and try to solve the doubts. When you play a friend is the first person to cheer you when you do a record. Friends will be the first to treat us without any jealous mind. Friends consider the record of yours as theirs and they feel happy by telling about the record to others. In life we share most of the time with friends. We can't share some topics with our parents but we can share any topic, with friends. Friends research that topic as a judge and tell us the good's and the bad's. Besides, Friendship is everlasting Friendship is only everlasting feature in this world. There may be biggest miracle which can change the entire world but even in that miracle also friendship will come out from its sleep. Friendship is like a banyan tree. Banyan tree seed is very small, but when it comes out of earth nothing can stop its growth. The same applies to friendship also. Friendship will reside in our heart like the banyan tree seed. When it finds the correct soil in another heart it starts its growth. at one stage when you get more friendly with that person it will become tree after that nothing in this world can stop it. Friends will try to find new ways to make you not to fall. Friends may not save but they never let you go to deep. Friends find innovative ways to stop you from falling and try to get some more help to lift you. Last but not least, Friendship is courage 32
33. Friends, they are the only source of our brave hearts. When we don't have any friends we won't come out when there is a trouble. But when we have friends with us, we never sit inside during a friend is in problem. We may not be brave but friendship gives courage to our mind and body. Friends will save us from any situations. Friends will help us to escape from big troubles. Friends will come front to solve the problems. Friendship never knows to runaway during problems. A good friend stays when there is problem and goes after the problem solves. We can tell a lot about friendship and friends. You may have great deal of friends but try to get a friend who is loyal, trustable to you. Psychologically speaking, friendship may be defined as "a dynamic, mutual relationship between two individuals. As children become friends, they negotiate boundaries within which both partners function". This helps them to function like healthy individuals in life as they learn to draw a line as and when needed in a relation. This greatly helps in the emotional development of an individual. However, any relation needs constant nurturing and development from all the people that are involved in one. Friendship cannot survive if one person makes all the effort to sustain it without any mutual recognition from others. Since friendship starts the moment a child starts socializing, the kind of friends that the child chooses should be taken care of till the time he / she learns to differentiate between right and wrong. Wrong peers or lack of socializing can lead to severe psychological traumas and disorders, finally leading to social maladjustment. The correct peer group is essential for the development of the personality of a child. Both positive and negative experiences refine the personality of the individual. Thus it is essential that you find friends who are compatible with you on an emotional and psychological basis. 1.2. proverbs and idioms relating to true friendship To talk about true friends, there is a famous proverb which goes like : 33
34. “A Friend in need is a Friend indeed.” (Có gió lung mới biết tùng bách cứng Có ngọn lửa lừng mới biết thức vàng cao) There are two versions of this saying, which cannot be told apart when you say it: 1. "A friend in need is a friend indeed" 2. "A friend in need is a friend in deed" The first version means that when you are in need, the friends who are still there are your real friends (indeed your friends), the other have shown themselves as false friends. The second version is probably a word play on the first. It means that your real friends are those "in deed", that is, those who are really *doing* something helpful for you. The others are those who will just give you some tips and indications, which may be somewhat helpful, but it won't be the help that you really need at that moment As for the saying “a friend in need is a friend in deed”, I think it holds a double meaning. One is people who are there when you need them are your true friends and the other is people who are friends with you when they need you are still your friends. 34
35. In accordance to this saying, a friend is one who is there for us at all times both ordinary and critical ones. A friend is one in whom we can rely on totally without any doubts what so ever. The proverb “A friend in need is a friend indeed” is one of the most known proverbs, and it teaches you that a real friend is a person who is there for you when you need him, it helps you when you have a problem, it keeps your secrets, shares things with you, bares you with all your qualities and defects. Of course, you have to treat all your friends the way you want to be treated and you always have to tell your friend the truth, this is the only way to keep a real friend. A person must look at himself inside and outside as like a mirror, not in one deceptive way, you have to reflect your personality without misrepresenting it. The friendship is based on confidence and spirit of sacrifice. I think nobody could live without friends, no matter how rich or how intelligent they are. Friendship is the most important term to keep peace on Earth. Without it nobody could live happily on the planet. In our days, very often there is a negative form of friendship manifestation, and I think that teen-agers from all over the world have a different opinion about friendship. A real friend always is next to you, when the rest of the world is against you. You can count on his support and that he will help you overcome the problem. This is my opinion about friendship, and I think that without my friends I couldn’t make face of all the problems I have. Ever wondered what is the real essence of the saying "A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed"? People talk about the true value of friendship without knowing what it stands for. True friendship is when there are no formalities; when the person you are talking about is counted as family; when the relation you share reaches a stage that even if you don't correspond for sometime, your relationship 35
36. remains intact. Best friends need not meet up often to make sure that the friendship remains constant. The trust between best friends is such that if one friend falls in trouble, the other will not think twice to help. If the bond between two friends is strong, true friends can endure even long distances. They find a way of being in touch despite busy schedules. True friendship never fades away; in fact it grows better with time. True friends don't need a posh place to hang out. Their most precious hideout is each others' rooms! True friendship thrives on trust, inspiration and comfort. Best friends come to know when the other person is in trouble, merely by listening to their “ Hello” over the phone. True friends don't desert each other when there is trouble. They face it together and support each other even if it hurts the other individual's interest. Best friends don't analyze each other; they don't have to. They accept each other with their positive and negative qualities. Nothing is hidden between true friends; they know each other's strengths and weaknesses. Best friends don't stand any outsider commenting or criticizing their friendship and they can put up every firm resistance if any one does so. True friends are not opportunists. They don't help because they have something to gain out of it. True friendship is selfless. Best friends support even when the whole world opposes you. It is not easy getting true friends and if you have even one true friend, considers yourself blessed. In this world of cynics and back stabbers, there are still some people who are worth being friends with. An excellent example of a true friend is the Good Samaritan. He was neither humorous nor very intelligent. But he was highly reliable. That is the true essence of friendship. The other passers-by where both intelligent and could have very well been humorous. But, they lacked the basic quality required to earn a good friend. There is Vietnamese equivalent: “Có gió lung mới biết tùng bách cứng 36
37. Có ngọn lửa lừng mới biết thức vàng cao” This proverb has a profound meaning. Vietnamese use the image of conifers and gold to symbolize for an indeed friend’s human dignity. Through the storm, we will know the strength or weakness of conifers. Through the fire, we will the value or less of gold. This saying transfers the meaningful philosophy that one’s morality must be tested by practice, like “A Friend in need is a Friend indeed” In the thought of friend, we have the proverb: “Real friend should have everything in common” ( Th•ơng nhau chia củ sắn lùi Bát cơm sẻ nửa, chăn sui đắp cùng ) This proverb gives us quality of friendship. As we know, friendship is a personal relationship shared between each friend for the welfare of other, in other words, it is the relationship of trust, faith and concern for each other feelings. It is a relationship of caring and fondness among one another. A friend is one who knows you as a person and regards you for what you are and not what he or she is looking in a good friend. Best friend is a person who accepts the good as well bad qualities of his friend and also takes an initiative in correcting and mending them. Friendship is a distinctive kind of concern for your friends, it is a relationship of immense faith and love for each other. Friends are the people you cried with when you got rejected from colleges and during the last song at the prom and at graduation. They are the people that when 37
38. you hug them, you don't think about how long to hug and who's going to be the first one to let go. Maybe they are the people that hold the rings at your wedding, or maybe they are the people who give you away at your wedding, or maybe they are the people you marry. Maybe they are the people who cry at your wedding because they are happy or because they are proud. They are the people who stop you from making mistakes and help you when you do. They are the people whose hand you can hold, or you can hug or give them a kiss and not have it be awkward because they understand the things you do and they love you for them. They stick with you and stand by you. They hold your hand. They watch you live and you watch them live and you learn from them. Friendship is all about how much you care and understand each other. It is a pure relationship, which would make your friend smile, feel good as to how much you love him and care for him. It is all about talking, listening and building up a strong relationship loyalty among each other. It is string of love which develops gradually with each others involvement. In certain cases friendship may not last for a longer period and might end up or lose its main importance of love and regard for each other. There are some friendships which might end with unresolved conflicts and tiffs which mean that these types of relationship were not so strong that could hold on their own in adversity and bad times. Friendship is not about merry-making and fun it involves equal loyalty from both the partners. Mentioning to friendship, we can find another proverb with the meaning of the choice friend: 38
39. “Have but new friends, though many aqquaintances” ( Dẫu lắm ng•ời quen biết, chỉ có ít bạn bè) We face several different people throughout our lifetime. Of these, only some people make a permanent mark on us. These are the people whom we find supportive and reliable. We would of course like people with a greater level of intelligence or with a flair for humour. But, we would hesitate to rely on them when it comes to our personal matters. Only people who really care about us can spare their time to think about our problems and issues. These are also the people on whom we tend to rely automatically. So, I consider that a true friend is one who is reliable. The level of intelligence of a friend becomes immaterial as far as friendship is concerned. Humour may or may not be an additional character of our friends. But, it is not one of the strict conditions for a friendship to last. In my opinion, friend and acquaintance are often distinguished clearly. An acquaintance is someone whose name you know, who you see every now and then, who you probably have something in common with and who you feel comfortable around. It's a person that you can invite to your home and share things with. But they are people who you don't share your life with, whose actions sometimes you don't understand because you don't know enough about them. On the other hand, a friend is someone you love. Not that you are "in love" with them, but you care about them and you think about them when they are not there. The people you are reminded of when you see something they might like, and you know this because you know them so well. They are the people whose pictures you have and whose faces are in your head regardless. Friends are the 39
40. people you feel safe around because you know they care about you. They call just to see how you are doing, because a friend doesn't need an excuse. They tell you the truth, the first time, and you do the same. You know that if you have a problem, they are there to listen. Friends are the people who won't laugh at you or hurt you, and if they do hurt you they try hard to make it up to you. They are the people you love, regardless of whether you realize it. It should be understood that not all friends are best friends. One might come across numerous number of friends in his life but there are very few who will be their during your ups and downs. How one should recognize your best friend the one who will understand your strengths and shortcomings and would be with you in all your good and bad phases of life. A true friendship does not consist of a huge number of friends you keep but it is valued by its worth and capability to hold you and stand by you in all phases of life. That said finding a best friend from among your friends is the hardest task to do. A lot of people say that the best friends automatically come closer from among a group of friends and you will never have to make an extra effort to do find one. That is how the strong bond between true friends is formed. So best of luck in finding or recognizing a true friend 1.3. Proverbs and idioms relating to bad friendship Making friend is the demand of anyone in society. How lonely and sad we are, if having not any friend standing us. However, beside a good friend, there are always bad friends surrounding us, therefore, the English have the following proverb to help us awake to who is a good friend in life. 40
41. “Flies are easier caught with honey than with vinegar” ( Mật ngọt chết ruồi ) Using the pair of words “ honey” and “vinegar” creates the opposite of sweet and sour, and easy to catch flies with honey. “Flies” is the symbol of people who is easy to believe in sweet words and they do not know if there is any sham behind these words or not. It is quiet difficult for us to realize affected manners of a bad friend because he always looks as “ Butter would not melt in his mouth”. That is this kind of person looks very innocent. We can encounter a Vietnamese counterpart : “Mật ngọt chết ruồi” Another type of bad friend is expressed in this proverb: “He that had a full purse never wanted a friend” ( Giàu bỏ bạn, sang bỏ vợ ) Literally speaking, the saying talks about people who have a lot of money don’t want to make acquaintance with anyone, who is ready to forget and ignore the familiar person before. 41
42. Money does have the power to destroy friendships. There may be conflicting attitudes toward spending money, or one person may be wealthier than the other. Friendship which is based on money as the foundation of the friendship is on unsteady ground. Money can come into true friendships as we would all help a needy friend but if it's the foundation of the relationship then I'd question whether or not this was true friendship. Friendship in its truest form is unselfish, giving, caring, full of compassion, sometimes love, and full of mutual respect and support. Money doesn't have to be an issue at all. If we only choose friends for what we can get out of them - including money, then the friendship will flounder in time. However it could be argued that we tend to have friends from within our own economic and social boundaries and if we see ourselves as equals within these boundaries then money would not be an issue within the friendship until one person, perhaps, fell short of the norm within that group. In these circumstances the friendship would see the issue of money coming into play - it would have to be seen if the friendship could survive under new circumstances. If not it was not a true one. A real friend will be your friend rather you are rich or poor. A real friend would not judge you by the money you have or the value of your possessions. Good friends also help each other out financially, however, the friendship should be based on rather you have money or give money to your friend. If a friend is constantly asking you for money, then maybe they are only using you and this would not be a good friend. However, a real friend would be there for you rather you have money or not. Money should never determine a friendship. Money is the root of all evil in life. Through above proverbs, we can see that : 42
43. “False friends are worse than open enemies” ( Bạn xấu còn tệ hơn kẻ thù tr•ớc mặt ) I have to agree with that statement - and call it an honorable enemy. What is a false friend? In common usage, its meaning is explicit. It is someone who holds themselves up to be a friend, while in reality engaging in behavior that makes them anything. Someone who wants something from another but offers nothing in exchange. An honorable enemy is 1000 times better than a false friend. With an honorable enemy, you know the treatment of you is fair, just and that the person is not to be trusted. With a false friend, trust is given and betrayed, leaving the treatment of you unjust and unfair. In conclusion with increasing corruption and disloyalty, it is hard to find the right person to trust and accept as a friend. With so many people believing in gossip and cheap plots, betrayal of friendship has become very common. People are so self absorbed these days that they don't tend to see whether the friends they have are trustworthy individuals or not. Worse are those people who betray true friends because of materialistic pleasures. Coping up with friends cheating is quite hard, more so if you have no fault of yours. But, life goes on and you make new friends. You push away your hurtful past and learn a valuable lesson from it. 1.4. Advice for friendship Everyone needs friends, but sometimes people make poor choices in selecting their friends. Whenever parents see their children associating with delinquent youths, they usually remind them of the proverb: 43
44. “ Before you make a friend, eat a bushel of salt with him” ( Muốn kết bạn với ai, hãy cùng nhau ăn hết vài đầu muối) This proverb says it takes a long time to know thoroughly who good friends are, who bad friends are. We shall show real friends when we are in need. The image of “eat a bushel of salt” makes a strong impression on me. All of us know that it is not easy for anyone to eat only a spoon of salt but a bushel of it. A true friend would remain with us whether we are rich or poor. Some people befriend the rich, simply for the sake of getting benefits from them. It is useless to have insincere friends because these friends remain with us as long as we are rich or powerful. It is better to have one or two good friends rather than having hundred of insincere ones. A true friend will “eat a bushel of salt”, stand by us in our trials and tribulation. He will be a great source of consolation and comfort in our trouble. It is very nice of a friend to help us to overcome difficulties in life, criticize for our mistakes and help correct faults. Luu Binh and Duong Le are good examples of friendship. So we must careful in choosing our friends. It is difficult to choose a sincere friend overnight; it takes years for us to find them. Frankly, true friends are hard to find and even harder to keep. So to advise who have friends, there is a proverb: “Broken friendships can be soldered, but never sound” ( G•ơng vỡ khó lành) 44
45. This proverb means that we should cosset and treasure our relationship in generally and friendship in particularly. If you made a friendship break completely, you would have lost a true friend forever. Because broken friendship is almost impossible to mend. Even if you sit and talk about it and decide to start all over again, the trust that used to be before will never come. Broken friendship is very hard to accept and more so if that friend was the only one you have ever had. It is tough to trust somebody else again and start a new friendship with someone new. The pain of going through a broken friendship is unbearable. The world seems to be coming to an end and we seem completely helpless with no one to turn to. When a friendship breaks, it really hurts. The trust you have had on the person is shattered completely and everyone looks like a betrayer to us. These proverbs are good advices to make friends in particularly, and to take care when communicating to other in generally. A best friend is like a four leaf clover: hard to find and lucky to have. Friends are like melons: to find a good one you have to try a lot. True friendship is like sound health; it's often taken for granted and only appreciated when lost. Happiness is not so much in having as sharing. We make a living by what we get but we make a life by what we give. You can make friends faster by becoming interested in other people than by 45
46. trying to get them interested in you. Good friends are like stars: you don't always see them, but you know they are always there. Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate. 2. Proverbs and idioms relating to love 2.1. Definition of love Love So many words have been told, so many poems have been composed, so many songs have been sung. But if you ask a person what love really is you always start getting different answers and sometimes those answers have nothing in common. The more you try to find a universal definition of love – the more you get confused with all these words you get from different people around you. The more you think you get close to the true meaning of this feeling – the more you realize that the definition of love is probably your own, unique and sincere truth about love. What is love? It is one of the most difficult questions for the mankind. Centuries have passed by, relationships have bloomed and so has love. But no one can give the proper definition of love. To some Love is friendship set on fire for others Maybe love is like luck. You have to go all the way to find it. No matter how you define it or feel it, love is the eternal truth in the history of mankind. 46
47. Love has many different meanings to all different types of people. There are many stages of love at different ages and different types of love. This is all about the real definition of love. What is the real definition of love? Love has many different meanings to all different types of people. There are many stages of love at different ages and different types of love. My definition of love is caring about someone so deeply that your like would be very different with out them there would always be a little piece of yourself missing if they pass away or leave you. Your life is incomplete when they are away and you would do anything to protect them or to make them happy. When I think of love I think of a couple sitting by the ocean holding hands and kissing. The feeling of love is “that can't eat cant sleep reach for the stars world series a kind stuff”. But this definition and the way that I portray and believe in love differs from yours, the classrooms, and probably many other people. “Love is an incredibly powerful word. When you're in love, you always want to be together, and when you're not, you're thinking about being together because you need that person and without them your life is incomplete” (Sophocles). There are so many different types of love. There is little kid love, teenage love, friendship love, family love, marriage love and parent to children love. All of these different types of love have similar meanings but have a little something different to be unique. Clearly when you're a little kid you don't really know what love is. Yes, you love your parents and your family and your friends but children don't get the concept of actually loving someone. Teenagers and their concept of being “in love” most people think they are crazy because teenagers have no idea what love is. That is usually what is said when people hear of teenagers being in love. Teenagers believe they are in love after possibly being with someone for just a few weeks or months can you actually be in love with someone after just that short period of time? And if you are in love with that person then why do you not spend forever with them? Another interpretation of 47
48. love for me is having that person in your life forever, and teenagers fall in and out of love all of the time so is it actually love? Who can really tell? Love to me is always caring about the person not wanting to be without them and not being mad or staying mad at the person. When does this ever happen though? Hardly ever, when people are in love they argue, they fight, they have disagreements and it is usually never as perfect as most people picture love to be. At first they might have a difficult time trusting the person that they love and through out there loving relationship they may have disagreements but it is worth it. Love is worth the trouble and the baggage that comes along with it because love gives meaning to life and without love life would be so boring. 2.2. Proverbs and idioms relating to the challenges of love As we know, there is no relationship without challenges. Relationship can last or end with them. It depends on what challenges are and how the relationship is. In life, we encountered a lot of ups and downs. But it is nevertheless, through all these problems and obstacles that we learn to stand up on our feet times and times again despite the falls we had, that made us what we are today. If life were to be so smooth for us, we wouldn't have grown and learn to truly appreciate it. The same goes for love; if a relationship is ever so sweet and smooth, we wouldn't have learn to really appreciate and cherish the love that is between ourselves and our love. It is through the overcoming of all those problems, surviving them through together that we truly know that we deeply cherish the love that is between both, strengthening the relationship more than ever. Love grows with obstacles. In love, there are many challenges but here I mention to some of them in some proverbs due to the limitation of this paper. The following proverb is an example: “ The falling out of lovers is the renewing” ( Giận thì mắng, lắng thì th•ơng) 48
49. This proverb means that when people love, the argument or quarrel make them understanding each other more clearly so that they will love their partner more and more. According to me, a good relationship comes with effective communication, the key factor to understanding of both partners who are in love. Argument or quarrel which is definitely unavoidable in any relationship, they promise to solve the differences and problems before the sun rises the next day. Whether is late or tired, they have to sit down to make good the issues. They speak their mind, open their heart, one has to take and the other has to give. With his experiences, many couples who failed to communicate to solve their immediate problem, tend to be judgmental or applying assumption to their conflicts. The further they delay their unsolved matters, leads to many frustration, pain, anger and unhappiness. Eventually jeopardising a good relationship with no possibility of coming back to normal. Is your love relationship smooth? Have the both of you actually quarreled before? If your answer is yes, then you should be happy and be glad that it happened. But if your answer is however a no, then you should be aware of the danger that you are facing. But do however treat each and every quarrel seriously, especially when the both of you have just started. This is the time for you and your partner to further understand each other more deeply, the time for you to reflect on yourself and honestly think about the relationship. This is the time for the relationship to be tested. A test of your love for one another; whether this relationship is strong 49
50. enough to withstand any thunderstorm there may be. Well, a survival never fails to further strengthen the relationship, truly cherishing each other ever more. Avoid unnecessary reasoning at the point of a quarrel. Most of the times it will only make things worse, wait till both have cooled down. At the end of the day, always make an effort to find out what actually went wrong. Is it your fault? Talk to each other nicely, share your unhappiness; let your partner know how you felt. A softer tone is always more calming and pleasing to the ears. Your partner will usually be willing to listen and to share his or her feelings with you too. Sometimes it is out of too much care for one another that unwillingly trigger off a quarrel between both? Give each other a good hug. "I love you dear, I am really so sorry to have hurt you, please forgive me–" Now isn't that such a sweet ending? It is usually through so that you understand each other better, cherishing each other even dearly. Remember, love is a two-way communication. It takes two happy persons, a happy you and your love to complete the equation. Another proverb is : “When poverty comes in at the door, love flies out at the window” (Có tiền vợ vợ chồng chồng Không tiền chồng Đông, vợ Đoài) 50
51. Idiomatically, it says that if a couple gets married because they are in love, but they do not have enough money, they will stop loving each other when the money runs out. In this proverb, I’m really impressed by two subjects “ poverty” and “ love” with two verbs in contrast “comes in” and “ flies out”. By using the image of poverty at the door and love at the window we can realize the escape of pragmatic love when there are challenges. Perhaps poverty is a difficult challenge for anyone especially lovers. If they truly love each other, love will prevail. However if their love is not true and wavers, the lack of money will bring a lot of problems and either one can use it as an excuse to get out of the marriage. Financial problem is a test for every marriage. Poverty can change a man, he can get 'intoxicated' by thoughts of wealth and be led by these in life. He can lose his path choosing money instead of love. But if you can keep your values you'll see that love is everything love can bring you so much power, love can make you conquer everything, love can move mountains only love. 2.3. Proverbs and idioms relating to the power of love With challenges mentioned above, how can love overcome all? Exactly, it is the power of love. Love is the most wonderful thing in life and I guess that’s a gift from God to all of us. Because it helps us share good or bad times. No one can deny that love is the fruit of life. If such love is present, life can be a great adventure transcending all drabness; if it is absent, nothing else can take its places. Some loves between two people endure a lifetime. Others are destined to only last for a while; then, the two lovers are separated, either by choice or fate. But one thing is true: no matter what the outcome of a relationship when love enters our lives, it never leaves without transforming at the very depth of our being. That’s the reason why the English have the proverb : 51
52. “ Love conquers all” ( Yêu nhau ba bốn núi cũng trèo Năm sáu sông cũng lội Bảy tám chín m•ời đèo cũng qua ) I completely agree with this saying. Here,” all” implies every difficulties which lover must overcome. Only by using verb “conquer”, we can image the power of love which can defeat all in life. Immense love help people are willing to scarify and devote all so they can overcome any difficulties in life. Love towards country is enormous, elevated and scared. Thus, soldiers are willing to scarify all not except from their life and family, Vietnamese’s patriotism is proved through wars in the past. Love towards family is an innated felling in everyone. It is not only power for students to achieve the best result, but also for parent to be a good example. Love towards life give us unseen power to overcome disease, miserable, poverty, only when patient lies on sick-bed, he made an unusual effort to sit up, to overcome and survive. If there is no belief and hope on life, how does he recover conciousness after senseless years. Love continually pushes us to succeed. It makes us want to take the hard road, tackle the most difficult task. It drives us to be more than we could ever be on our own. That’s the thing about love, it pushes and sucks one out into the glaring world, like a child at birth. Without love, it is so easy to cave in and turn away from the dazzle of life. 52
53. Sometimes love is in what is said, and sometimes what is not said but deeply felt. Sometimes love is in the obstacles we must face together. Although how challenges and blessed each of us in unique ways, we are never alone in what we go through because of our love. We can see a Vietnamese counterpart : Yêu nhau ba bốn núi cũng trèo Năm sáu sông cũng lội Bảy tám chín m•ời đèo cũng qua When a couple is in love, there is no obstacle with them. Love helps them pass the mountain, river, up hill and down dale. The numbers using here are very impressive. Because it’s very difficult for a person to climb one mountain and down river, lover can pass three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine obstacles .So love is really great and conquer all. In short, love is the most powerful, magical force in the universe. And above all, “ love conquers all” pay tribute to love’s ability to endure beyond years, beyond distance, beyond even death. Another proverb about power of love is : “ Love will creep where it may not go” ( Dầu mà cha mẹ không •ng Đèn chai nhỏ nhựa em cùng lăn vô ) Literally speaking, the saying means that love will go anywhere. Broadly speaking, this saying means love won’t surrender any obstacles. Where may not love go? The answer is no where. The power of love can take it to the most difficult places. Regardless of dangers, love will find the way to overcome all. “Creep” meaning “tr•ờn” hoặc “bò” is a descriptive verb. With this verb, we 53
54. can think love as a little child. Linguisticly, this verb is an expensive detail. Although the place is heaven or hell, mountain or river, hill or dale, love’s feet pass all. It is where the relationship takes us inside ourselves- places we would never go willingly, but for love, we will do anything. Where love is wanted, a door must be made, and where there are no walls, love is beautiful. There is an Vietnamese equivalence: “Dầu mà cha mẹ không •ng Đèn chai nhỏ nhựa em cùng lăn vô” Although parents don’t agree, a girl insists on loving and living with her happiness. Power of love makes her overcome all. There is no miracle greater than love. May love open your heart, uplift your mind, inspire your spirit, and be a sweet companion on your own heart journey. And may your life always be blessed with love. 3. proverbs and idioms relating to family 3.1. proverbs and idioms relating to relationship between husband and wife Let us now consider the husband-wife relationship, a couple is a complete unit. No other relationship shall take preference, not even the parent-child relationship. The husband-wife relationship is to be exclusive and it is the primary relationship of the family. Upon this foundation of God's design, a couple will experience marital oneness and harmony. In this environment, intimacy, loyalty, trust, faithfulness and companionship can be built. This binds and causes the relationship to grow and flourish, promising a healthy home. When two people enter into marriage, both are cast into a new role different from any role they have ever been in before. Up to this time they have been just a man and woman like all other men and women. But now that man is no longer just a man but he is a husband with certain fixed and clearly defined duties and 54
55. responsibilities toward that certain woman he has taken to be his wife. That woman is no longer just a woman but she is now a wife with clearly defined duties and responsibilities toward the man she has chosen to be her husband. English has a proverb about this relationship: A good husband makes a good wife ( Trai khôn vì vợ, gái ngoan vì chồng ) This proverb says that if a woman is happy with her husband, she will be a good mate for him. It also expresses the meaning that husband’s lifestyle influences to his wife’s one. In my opinion, a good husband includes four factors. First is understanding. When a woman is feeling down she likes to have a shoulder to cry on. As a husband we need to provide this shoulder and not just say to his wife: "Pull yourself together; stop feeling so sorry for yourself." She does not particularly require any advice from him just someone to listen to her. By confirming that he support her and him will always love her should do the trick Second is kindness. There is no need to buy his wife a huge present every week, to be generally kind costs nothing. Show some consideration, open the door for her, give her a cuddle in bed, tell her he love her and tell her what a great mum she is. 55
56. Third is honest. Be honest to his wife, do not cheat on her as let's face it he would not want her to be unfaithful to him. There is no relationship without trust, therefore ensure that his wife is in no doubt that he is one hundred percent hers. Fourth is think. When purchasing a present for his wife he need to use his imagination. Do not just buy her the same perfume each and every year; think about what she really wants. What would blow her mind away and make her realize what a top man you really are? Some top of the range shoes perhaps? Certainly, all of above in husband will make a good wife. It talks about husbands, and how are about wives? Another proverb is towards a good wife: “A good wife makes a good husband ” ( Trai khôn vì vợ, gái ngoan vì chồng) This proverb says that if a man is happy with his wife, he will be a good mate for her. A good wife can make her husband better. A wife's role is very significant. She can be a tremendous help to her husband. Her contribution, wisdom, insight and understanding cannot be underestimated. I think that there are 3 roles of a wife; she is to be her husband's companion, supporter and admirer 56
57. A healthy relationship is when a wife gives her husband 100% support. She is his cheerleader, she brings out the best in him, she believes in him, she encourages him, and she is quick to praise him and to give him the moral and emotional support he needs. Although a man is generally more cognitive and deals more with facts and logic rather than with his emotions, it does not mean he is any less emotional or has no need for emotional support. In times of difficulty, when the wife reaches out to her husband, it helps to cement the relationship. Emotional bonding is crucial. If a man can't find emotional support from his wife, he may find it elsewhere. Tell him he is wonderful, that will inspire him to achieve more. He sees himself as capable of handling new responsibilities and perfecting skills far above those of his present level. In conclusion, happy marriages need both good wife and good husband. Intimate relationships are considered to powerful teachers. They teach us when to hold more tightly and when to let go. They give us the opportunity to develop great virtues such as courage, patience, loyalty and trust. This relationship will show us all the way we need to grow as a person. In this way, love will never enter our lives without changing us for the better. 3.2. Proverbs and idioms relating to relationship between parents and children. We are coming to another of the great relationships of life, that of parents and children. The child is an extension of his parent. During their lifetime he is the joy of his parent's eyes. The child is a part of his parent's heart and a piece of their body. All parents love their children. They sometimes even sacrifice their lives for their children. The ideal relationship is still the parent and child relationship. So there are many proverbs relating to this relationship, but I only mention two proverb: “A child may have too much of his mother’s blessing” (Cá chuối đắm đuối vì con) 57
58. This proverb praises all parents because of their love, sacrifice for the children. Every woman is a child and every child has a mother. The bond of the mother and children relationship is so profound, so deep and long-lasting that children often miss their mother fifty years after they gone. Once birthed, a mother- child relationship is perhaps immortal. Being a mother is more than a role or an out come of biology. Mothers are not just those women who give a birth to the child they raise. To be truly mothered teaches us how to love, how to think, how to grow into our own potential. At its best being mothered teaches us to be whole. To mother is to give of oneself in service of another, to truly see and honor another and to care for her. Thankfully, in a world that brings hardship as well as joy, mothers show up in all sorts of wonderful and magical ways. And the children come into mother’s lives as a gift from heaven. Children allow their mothers to see themselves through a new life, to see how they are carried in their children and how their children are unique and absolutely new. Children allow (sometimes push) their mothers into seeing a large world, the new world that their children inhabit. Children offer their mothers an opportunity to become whole just as mothers offer the same to their children. My prayers are for all mothers. Thank you for the love they give unceasingly to and daughters your sons! May God continue to bless them in their most treasured vocation! 58
59. Parent’s love to their child is invaluable and ever lasting. Every parent has the same hope of seeing their children grow up and have a bright future. Sometimes their love can’t be seen by eyes but it can be touched by heart. We will really understand their love when we have our children. The following English proverb mention to this meaning : “He that has no children knows not what” ( Có nuôi con mới biết lòng cha mẹ ) The meaning of this proverb is that only when you must be strenuous to bring up your child, you just esteem the love between parents and children as a favour. Your dear mother was nauseated, hot, and heavy as she carried you; but she already loved you and had wonderful thoughts for your life, as she decorated the nursery at home. Pregnancy, birth, and nursing took a toll on her body, yet she constantly doted on you! She cleaned your messes and fed you many times daily, and all you did was cry for more! Later, when you struggled to make a tricycle, then a bicycle, work, your father managed his soul, his marriage, his job, his finances, his house, his car, and you, among many other things! He generated you, chose and provided for your mother, and daily invested in you, hoping for a wise and righteous son, who would grow in favor with God and man. According to me, although modern life is changing day by day, the image of family in idioms and proverbs is still worthy to meditate. Each of idioms and proverbs is a lesson for one’s life in generally and for a family in particularly. 59
60. CHAPTER III : SOME DIFFICULTIES FOR LEARNER OF ENGLISH WHEN STUDYING IDIOMS AND PROVERBS I. Some difficulties in studying idioms and proverbs In fact, many people want to learn English idioms and proverbs, but they deal with a lot of difficulties. The following are some difficult I’ve had in the process of researching this graduation paper : Firstly, because of the different geography, the difference between the cultures of two countries is unavoidable, especially the idioms and proverbs system. Secondly, identifying idioms and proverbs is not easy. Thirdly, most of idioms and proverbs are difficult to guess the meaning correctly because they have association with the ordinary meaning of the individual words or phrases. They can be guessed if they were heard in the context, that is, when we know they are used in a particular situation. Fourthly, the main difficulty is that learners do not know the level of style; that is, whether an idiom or proverb can be used in a formal or an informal situation. In the formal situation, when we do not know very well person we are talking to or the occasion is public, we choose word much more carefully. It would be wrong to choose a slang expression. This means that we can express the same information or idea in more than one way using different level of style. Lastly, when translating English idioms or proverbs, it is not easy for Vietnamese equivalent suitable to the nuance of meaning of English idioms and proverbs. II. Suggested solutions With above difficulties, how to overcome them is still a great question. The 60
61. following suggestions are referred to help Vietnamese learners in their English studying: Firstly, the learners should understand about the culture, belief, region, habit of both Vietnamese and English so that they can compare and guess the meaning of the idioms or proverbs. Secondly, the learner should study the features of idioms and proverbs carefully, and distinguish them from other kinds of set expression to identify the idioms and proverbs better. Thirdly, the learner can analyze the meaning of all components and the relationship among the components or study the meaning in the context or ask the native speakers. Fourthly, it is advisable not to make frequent use of slang expressions because it is easy to sound strange. And using idioms and proverbs with neutral style is a good idea. Besides, knowing an idiom or proverb is natural or appreciate in a certain situation is also a difficulty. This can only be learnt by careful reading of English texts which contain idioms and proverbs. The learners should take careful note of examples of usage in typical situation. Lastly, some English idioms and proverbs have more than one Vietnamese equivalent so the learner should be careful when choosing them because if they choose the idioms or proverbs which reflect the specialties of Vietnamese nature and society too much, the unity of English style will be lost. Some English idioms and proverbs have no Vietnamese equivalent, we can translate them into our language but we must keep the suitable nuance of meaning. 61
62. PART III : CONCLUSION It is said that idioms and proverbs are one of the most complicated fields for studying but they are very interesting when used in daily life. This study has attempted to show an overview of idioms and proverbs in general and the distinction between idioms and proverbs in particular. In this paper, English idioms and proverbs relating to relationship have been taken into consideration. Then they are sorted and divided into three groups: friendship, love and family. At the same time, some idioms and proverb are compared to those in Vietnamese. General speaking, to understand fully and profoundly those application of relationship in English idioms and proverbs is very difficult because they relate to a great number of fields such as geographical feature, social development, culture, and sometimes the origins or reason why they are used are not known. Moreover, English is spoken in many countries and the number of English idioms and proverbs produced is not small at all. Thus, the difficulties in learning English idioms and proverbs that Vietnamese learners must deal with are undeniable. The learners usually have difficulties in identifying idioms and proverbs, guessing the meaning, using idioms and proverbs in the suitable situation, finding Vietnamese equivalences. To overcome these difficulties, learner should study feature of idioms and proverbs deeply, guess their meaning in the contexts and carefully read English texts, do exercises and not forget to take care of cultural features and try to have cultural competence. All what have been referred to in this paper come from the limited understanding and ability. It is, however, hoped that this study will be a small contribution to figure out the interesting significance of the idioms and proverbs of the international language and a reference to those who are interested in English as well as English culture can open other topics for further study. 62
63. Reference * Books 1. Hoàng Thị H•ơng, Chuyên đề tốt nghiệp “ The image of food and drinks in English idioms and proverbs and Vietnamese equivalences” , Tr•ờng Đại Học Dân Lập HảI Phòng, 2008 2. Nguyễn Đình Hùng, Thành ngữ, tục ngữ, ca dao Việt Anh thông dụng, NXB Thành phố Hồ Chí Minh, 2007 3. Nguyễn Thành Yến, Bày tỏ tâm trạng và cảm xúc bằng Tiếng Anh, NXB Tổng hợp Thành phố Hồ Chí Minh, 2007 4. Nguyễn Tấn Lực, Châm ngôn và tục ngữ Anh Việt, NXB Trẻ, Thành phố Hồ Chí Minh,2004 5. Phạm Văn Vĩnh , Tục ngữ so sánh, NXB Hà Nội, 2003 6. Xuân Bá, Trần Thanh Sơn, Tục ngữ, Thành ngữ n•ớc Anh, NXB Giáo Dục, 1999 * Website 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. voa1.cfm 6. 7. 8. 63